Our Story. You and me, baby.
I’m not entirely sure how my SO will feel about me sharing the details of how we became an “us”, but he puts up with a whole lot worse from me on a daily basis so I’m chancing it. Joking! I’m perfect, and he could have never even dreamed up someone like me. Another joke ;) for the people who can’t keep up with my sarcasm.
So here’s our story....
In my heart I knew I was ready for love. The stars aligned perfectly that evening. My handsome Greek God had been waiting for me his whole life and when our eyes met we knew we had found the one and the rest is history.
Ummm, yes. That’s still sarcasm. Haha.
Here’s the real story:
I was in an (excuse my language but it’s totally necessary in this case) I fucking hate men phase of my life. Divorce will do that to you. Getting divorced while pregnant will do that to you more. I was so over relationships, I was literally 100% sure that if I EVER dated again, and that was a big IF, it would be new age. Casual. Easy. Relaxed. No muss. No fuss. No merging of things, no exchanging of vows, no extra children. A very zen kind of relationship. (Come to think of it, I’m not sure those exist? If you’re in one please raise your hand).
So what does the universe send me? The universe sends me an as-traditional-as-you-get, straight-forward-as-you-get, patriotic, stubborn Greek man who acts like he’s never heard the word “no” before. And as fate would have it, he didn’t get one from me either. He got a “maybe” when he asked to take me to dinner... but more on that later.
Apparently, according to him, he was very nervous to come speak to me. Not the impression I got at all. But I’ll choose to believe him.
It was a mutual friend’s birthday party. Although we’d never met before. We both almost ended up not going to the party that night but, again, as fate would have it...
I had just put Tesla to sleep and had pretty much fallen asleep myself. I had absolutely no idea what to wear. It was my second night out since having my Tesla. He was just under 4 months old at the time. I was tired and not really in any kind of party mode. But I had promised I would go, and I did want to celebrate my friend’s birthday so I pulled on an old black skirt and a black tank top. It was dark in the room because Tesla was sleeping, so it was what I managed to grab that seemed like it wouldn’t make me look awful or require too much effort... I was still carrying the last bit of baby weight.
Needless to say I got there late, as I do. Since having Tesla I cannot manage to be on time for pretty much anything. As all my friends will tell you while rolling their eyes. I’m definitely not bragging about that and I am trying to work on it. However, having ANOTHER baby hasn’t helped the cause.
My Greek man suffers from the same being late issue. He, at the time, did not have kids as an excuse and he arrived minutes before me. His excuse is that he’s Greek.
Anyway, a few champagne glasses in (for me... Mr. just drinks espressos). That’s why you got a maybe, baby, thank the champagne and the guy pouring them!
He comes over, and I’m thinking “God, this guy seriously picked the wrong girl to speak to can he not sense my “get-the-eff-away-from-me” radar?
But the more he talks, the less the thought of going on a date with him makes me want to throw up.
So when eventually he did ask if he could take me out to dinner, he got a maybe and my real phone number.
We spent the next 2 weeks speaking endlessly on the phone before we went on a date. Literally. And by speak I mean an actual phonecall and not WhatsApp. A dying tradition in my opinion. WhatsApp is so unromantic, so impersonal. After Tesi was down for the night we would speak ‘til about 2am which is when Tesi would wake up to feed and he would be up for the day by 6am so literally sleep was a thing of my past. But it was worth it.
In between my mixed feelings about getting involved in a relationship again. I realised I found this guy not only interesting but particularly amazing as well.
The dinner date happened in true old fashioned gentleman style. He picked me up, he brought me flowers, he opened the car door for me (and still does to this day, every time! Man, I’m a lucky lady). Dinner was amazing, conversation was amazing and he made sure to bring me back before Tesi woke up and needed to eat. I was staying at my parents house at the time and they made sure Tesi was all fine while I was gone (to anyone wondering who I left him with). He opened the car door for me to get out, we didn’t even kiss but the butterflies in my stomach were a sweet indication that I was head over heels already and there was nothing I could do about it.
Stelios then went to Cape Town for two weeks and begged me to come with, which I politely declined. I still got phone calls while he was there asking me to come and that he will get tickets right away, saying we don’t have to party we will just take Tesla for walks and enjoy the sunshine. It was too soon for me and I assumed he had no idea what life with an almost-4-month old is like.
It’s changing nappies round the ‘clock and crying and soothing and breastfeeding and expressing and puke and waking up early, you know, the slightly less romantic version of walks and sunshine.
But nevertheless, our love continued to grow quite quickly, and having a child right from the beginning of the relationship completely changes the dynamics of a relationship. Things get serious pretty quickly. I knew exactly what I didn’t want in a relationship, I knew that if I was going to be bringing a man into me child’s life he had to be really special, worth it, worth my child getting to know and love. And I knew that, that man had to love my child as much as he loved me. And he was all these things. Here I get teary-eyed (because having kids does this to you and I now choke up at things that wouldn’t really phase me before), Stelios would always say to me “I love all of you, and Tesla is a part of you so it’s only natural for me to love him too.”
Im going to stop my post here (while I go get a tissue and cry at my own love story).
Like I said earlier Stelios doesn’t know I’m writing this, so he’ll be reading it alongside all of you because he’s a beautiful man that reads everything I have to say without me having to ask. Sometimes I cringe at him reading everything I write. But that comes with blogging.
If you liked this post, stay tuned for PART II.
“Take a lover who looks at you like maybe you are magic.”
- Marty McConnell, from the poem ‘Frida Kahlo to Marty McConnell’.
Pictures by Chanel Oosthuizen