Instagram vs Real Life
A friend got me thinking the other day; it’s not something I was completely unaware of but I realised just how much our selected content (and believe me ALL our content is selected, we, for the most part, only post the best photo/video we were able to get; even the so called “honest” accounts still pick and choose their content and you don’t get to see every part of their lives) on social media obviously influences what people think of us and how they think we live our lives.
My kids have been sick for the last 2 weeks. Tesla started school again and the first thing that comes with school is those awful awful kiddie germs that make the whole family sick.
Anyway back to the story... I posted an Instagram story of my boys playing together and my friend who I had mentioned to that they are sick as we are planning to do a family photo shoot together and needed them to get better first, messaged to say (after seeing the video) that it seems they’re all better and it must be a relief they’re not sick anymore.
So it got me thinking.... my 15 second video made her think that and rightfully so. They looked happy and were having a blast on the video and you can’t see any snotty noses and they happened not to be coughing while I filmed that.
Behind the Instagram post: 2 weeks of hell. I drove them to the doctor 5 times in one week. I hadn’t slept at all (not even exaggerating) I don’t think I managed to put a whole 2 consecutive hours of sleep together. There had been so much crying, clinginess, coughing, a mountain of snot, using the vacuum cleaner what felt like 50 times a day to suction out snot, fevers as high as 39.0 C, forcing the baby to take medicine because he literally refuses anything like that, shuts his mouth tight and if you somehow manage to get it in he spits it out, bargaining with my toddler to take his medicine, not having showered in 2 days, I mean the list goes on and on...
I’m sure no one could imagine that’s what was actually going on in my life by looking at my Instagram feed.
The fact of the matter is you just don’t get to see every moment of someone’s life on their social media. It would be impossible to show you every single moment anyway and while we have our phones handy most of the time and probably spend too much time and post more than we should, it’s still not most of someone’s life just a very small portion and it’s very selected.
So if there are people, especially other moms, scrolling through my Instagram wondering “why doesn’t my life look like that?”, “why don’t my kids play so nicely together?”, “why am I not in a perfect relationship?”, “why don’t I have my shit more together?”.
Well let me tell you while my boys are the best thing in my world and they love each other so much and it melts my heart BUT that’s not the end of it; I don’t post the tantrums on my social media. I don't have a video of my toddler pushing his baby brother over and he’s crying. I don’t post that I’ve woken up 10-12 times last night, I don’t post that sometimes I feel like I’m ready to throw myself of a cliff because I just want 30 minutes of alone time and I can’t get it ha ha.
I don’t post a lot of the ordinary. Yes we do some cool things but our days are what most days full of mommying looks like; messes and crying, hugs and kisses, frustration and moments that require way too much patience, play and dirty dishes. Life. Life with kids.
And while I can honestly say I have a really strong relationship with my husband, it’s a love like I haven’t known and experienced. We don’t have crazy fights where we scream and shout but at the end of the day it’s still a relationship and we do have silly arguments. I don’t post when I feel upset with my husband. I don’t post that he has to work late sometimes and only comes home after the kids are already asleep.
With that being said while people don’t usually post their bad or ordinary life events we also don’t post our most intimate and precious moments either, the ones that fulfill you, the ones that are their own kind of perfect and you wouldn’t dream of ruining it with a phone and that’s a good thing too. Not everything is meant for social media. Some parts of our lives should be just our sacred little pieces that no one can place an opinion on.
So the next time you’re scrolling through someone’s perfect feed that makes you feel bad about yourself remember you have no idea what’s going on behind the scenes. or the next time you see a perfect family photo of mine know that you haven’t seen the 20 before that, that didn’t come out so pretty ;)
“No one’s life is as perfect as their Instagram feed”